It’s official, I am one hell of a bad ass gamer! On February 25, 2010 I reached 50,005 gamerscore points. At which point the gaming gods came down from on high and totally gave me a big, group high five. It was “righteous”! Haha.

Now tell me, does anything say “This guy’s hardcore” like having a gamerscore that exceeds 50,000 points? I think not. I can now safely count myself among “The Elite” without feeling like a pompous jack ass. This must be what it feels like to be Stephan Colbert. 😉 That guy kicks some serious ass by the way. I sent a message to all of my gamer friends last night that was all like “Behold, I hath conquered the 50,000 barrier! Gaze upon my gamerscore and weep heartily with joy for it’s greatness…” I wish I had thought to save a copy of it to post here later, cause it was brilliant. Oh well. Maybe I’ll remember when (and IF) I break the 100,000 barrier.

Seriously though, I think Microsoft should mail out shirts or something to people who break huge milestones like this. Cause we obviously paid for and played a shit ton of their games to get where we are. And what’s a couple hundred cheap and cheesy t-shirts to a company that has as much money as “The Big M”? Just a thought… do with it what you will.

~Uber Penguin out!


Dante’s Inferno

February 26, 2010

Delightfully sick and twisted in all the right ways!

Wow, where to begin? The art style of this game blew me away. The Hi Def cut scenes are incredible. The opening movie, where you watch Dante stitch the cross from his crusader’s outfit INTO his chest is unbelievable! The amount of detail in his face, the intense pain you see in his eyes and facial expression as he’s pulling the string tight against his flesh is something I have NEVER seen before, not even in a big budget 3d movie. Though admittedly I have yet to see Avatar, so that one might come close, I don’t know yet. Anyways, that scene almost hurt to watch, it was stunning. Kudos to the team who pulled THAT off.

The level design of this game is just amazing! The design for the Circle of hell devoted to the sin of Lust reminds me of the work of H.R. Giger, although no one could surpass Giger’s attention to detail when it comes to sci-fi alien vag imagery. The Gluttony level is like walking through someone’s intestines, all moist and pulsating. The fighting is intense, with lots of enemies on the screen at the same time, but it’s not ridiculously cluttered and confusing the way I found Bayonetta to be. The combos are pretty cool, and can be powered up and tricked out with the souls you collect by slaying your enemies. There are plenty of Holy and Unholy relics to find and collect throughout the game which offer subtle tweaks to the gameplay when equiped. Also hidden throughout the game are “Judas coins” and special Damned Souls that you can choose to either damn or absolve for bonus souls and experience on the Unholy or Holy paths respectively. Absolving them offers the most bonus souls through a little mini game that I only found tiresome on my second playthrough.

What I find strange is that all the so called “expert” game reviewers all seem to be complaining that this game is a God of War clone. It’s a fun game style, why NOT use it in other games. No one complains about new FPS games being clones, despite the retarded number of WWII games on the market right now. Besides, considering that the God of War franchise has been a Playstation exclusive and I have never (and WILL never) own a Playstation console, I found this style of gameplay to be new and enjoyable. So they can all eat a fat one.

The only thing I had a problem with is that the game felt short to me. My first playthrough clocked in at about 7-8 hours, and after the amount of time I put into Mass Effect 2 this game just felt like it was over too quick. I would still totally recommend picking this game up for it’s unique and disturbing atmosphere though. And over all I’d say it was about an 8 out of 10.

And as a side note, EA plans to release a downloadable “multiplayer” mode to the game sometime in March (I think). But as far as I can tell, all it will do is allow you to create gauntlet style arena battles for other people to fight their way through, and then post online scoreboards of the time it took them to complete each arena. It sounds lame to ME, and I sure as hell don’t plan on paying EXTRA for it, but hey, that’s just MY opinion.

~Penguin out

Mass Effect 2

February 26, 2010

Ok, this post is a bit overdue, but here it is. Mass Effect 2, as I’m sure you all know by now is an INCREDIBLE game! It feels a bit more stream lined than the first game, but keeps everything that made the first one bad ass. The conversation trees; how your in-game actions and interactions with NPC’s affect both your character’s appearance, the story line, and how other characters react to you. All of this makes the Mass Effect games feel more like a playable movie than a videogame. Like the first game Mass Effect 2 is a massive game set in a massive and incredibly detailed universe, so expect to drop about 50+ hours on your first play through if you like to soak in all the details like I do. And speaking of, it amazes me the amount of effort they put into fleshing out all the worlds, races, and technologies in the Mass Effect games. It really helps pull you into the story and makes you care more about the world they’ve created. It gives you more of a reason to WANT to save this universe and all the people in it.

Another cool feature of Mass Effect 2 is the ability to upload your save file from the first game into this one. So all of your actions that affected your character traits, and the universe as a whole, can be imported into Mass Effect 2 to custom tailor the storyline to YOU and your play style. Fear not however, because you can have a fully enjoyable experience with this game even if you never played the first one. Unfortunately for me I DID play the first one, but like an idiot, I deleted my old save files to free up space on my 360’s hard drive. At the time I had NO idea Mass Effect 2 would have this awesome feature. But I totally intend on picking up another copy of Mass Effect 1 (traded in my original copy) and playing through it again so that I can see just how it impacts the story and over all experience of Mass Effect 2. This game is definitely a 10, no doubt about it!

~Penguin out!