"Made for TV Movie" and "Based on a Videogame" are two things that a gamer never wants to hear. Chills run down the spine; the mind reels with conspiracy theories of mainstream media’s attempts to undermine what I and many like me hold sacred. Well fear not, for the SyFy channel seems to understand these fears. Yes, Red Faction: Origins is a made for tv movie. Yes, it aired saturday (6/4) in an attempt to build up buzz for the next game in the franchise which releases on tuesday (6/7). And YES, I liked it anyway. 🙂 Check your favorite torrent download haunts, you’ll find it.


“Down in a hole…”

August 24, 2010

And I’ve given up on breaking free.

They say that misery loves company, and I believe they’re right. Sadly I have tons of the former, and none of the latter. I’ve been caught in a depressed funk since being released from captivity back in December. It eased off a bit after I found a couple jobs, but money has never been my ONLY problem. Being able to feed and shelter myself just allows everything else to jump to the forefront.

I hate being alone. But then, everyone relies on the comfort of others to some degree. Humans are social creatures, pack animals. But it still feels like I’m failing myself, like I should be stronger than I am.

Depression is boring, and I grow tired of it. I wonder what it would be like to loosen a few screws, allow myself to come undone, slip a little. Dip my toe into the waters of insanity, if only for variety.

I’m a transient, a wanderer; and I’ve been here too long. I’m stagnating. Degrading into the filth I see all around me. I’m bored by the people around me. It’s too easy to label them all as stupid and worthless… but they lack creativity. They lack the ability to think abstractly, probably as a result of being raised simply. Raised to believe that the world is black and white, right and wrong, good and evil; and nothing more. They can’t think outside the box because they don’t realize the box exists. And they seem happier that way. I find myself both jealous and disgusted at the same time.

Ugh, whatever. I could go on like this forever, but even I’M starting to get sick of listening to me.

~Penguin Out


Maybe it’s just me, but I commonly get into arguments with myself. My “inner voice” splits into several pieces and each takes a side.

Don’t get me wrong, I mean I know it sounds a little… “unhinged”, but it CAN be helpful. It’s useful when planning out important conversations I want to have with people, another voice will step up and start thinking through every possible response to my planned talking points. Help plan for every contingency, especially when dancing around difficult subjects.

But sometimes these alternates just like to bicker amongst themselves. Over the most random shit too. Like, I’ll be walking through the local Wal-Mart, and I’ll see a small flock of the local Mennonite women. My initial reaction is confrontational disgust. Then a second voice tries to instill understanding and acceptance. It plays out a bit like this:

V1: “Freaks…”

V2: “They aren’t that bad.”

V1: “Oh come on! They’re all a bunch of techno hating cultists!”

V2: “They, as a people, have contributed a great deal to this country.”

V1: “Give me a break.”

V2: “No really. They’ve been a positive force here since America’s founding.”

V1: “Yeah yeah. They’re very hands on, making all their own shit.”

V2: “They really are quite good at that.”

V1: “Sure, they can make their own clothes, but their fashion sense is atrocious! I mean, if you’re going through all of that effort, why not make something that’s actually WORTH WEARING?”

V2: ”…Ok. You got me there.”

This is about when a third voice will step in, say “Shut the fuck up” and corral them back into a singular voice. The voice of Me.

Does anyone else have this experience? Is this something that I should be concerned about? Is it a problem or an answer? And how does one tell the difference?



I gleaned some rather interesting info from a conversation in Gamestop yesterday. I finally decided to get off my ass and preorder the “Legendary” version of Halo: Reach, so I took a trip down to the local Gamestop. Don’t look at me like that, they’re the only place in town that does midnight releases. Anyways, I was chatting it up with the guys when I noticed a sign that said “Preorder Reach and get a free gift.” I idly asked what the free gift was, expecting it to be lame… but the response I got kinda blew me away.

I was told that for preordering Halo: Reach at Gamestop you get a download code for a unique piece of armor. Now we all know that this kind of thing has become standard fare in the industry, but then they told me what it DOES. Apparently this piece of armor will decrease the recharge time of all armor lock abilities!

Up until now I had been under the assumption that all armor pieces were purely cosmetic, meant only to offer the player the ability to stand out, to make this spartan their own. I sure don’t remember having read anything on this topic in any bungie.net post. But if this Gamestop idiot was right, then this changes the whole game!

Think of it this way. Gamestop, as a company, isn’t special enough to warrant having the ONLY piece of armor that has the ability to tweak game play. It wouldn’t be fair to those who didn’t buy the game at Gamestop, and under normal circumstances I would BE one of those people. And I would be SUPER PISSED to learn that someone else was given a game breaking upgrade just for licking Gamestop’s massive corporate asshole.

So at this point it’s a very small leap to assume that most, if not ALL, of the armor pieces will offer some kind of tweak to your character. For instance, in the beta one of the helmets had a little camera device that attached to the side of it. And if you paid attention you would also have noticed that there was a side note in one of the menus that told us how to activate a night vision mode, though it wasn’t actually available in the demo. Coincidence??

But before you start flaming the Bungie forums, take a breath and consider this. If done right, this might not be a bad thing. I mean, it wouldn’t be any different than letting us choose which load out we want before each respawn. It would just make our characters more like the “actual spartans”. They’re all bad ass, genetically altered super soldiers, but each one has different stats and specialties. What made John (Spartan 117) unique and ultimately lead to him being given the title “Master Chief” was his extraordinary luck. Try defining THAT into a quantity that can be added to a character’s chest piece! Each spartan is a beautiful and unique snowflake… of PURE DESTRUCTION. And soon we will be too. I can’t wait to put on my +10 “Sexy” pants!


Ok, if I die in my sleep tonight I want you all to know that it was due to a flickery, old time film grain effect applied to the Xbox360 game “WET”. Great game though, ALMOST worth it. The whole thing plays out like a fast and furious Quentin Tarantino film. The game came out last September, and was quickly overlooked by EVERYONE. New copies go for only $30 now, so if you’re interested in an over-the-top 3rd person shooter it might be time to check it out!

It’s official, I am one hell of a bad ass gamer! On February 25, 2010 I reached 50,005 gamerscore points. At which point the gaming gods came down from on high and totally gave me a big, group high five. It was “righteous”! Haha.

Now tell me, does anything say “This guy’s hardcore” like having a gamerscore that exceeds 50,000 points? I think not. I can now safely count myself among “The Elite” without feeling like a pompous jack ass. This must be what it feels like to be Stephan Colbert. 😉 That guy kicks some serious ass by the way. I sent a message to all of my gamer friends last night that was all like “Behold, I hath conquered the 50,000 barrier! Gaze upon my gamerscore and weep heartily with joy for it’s greatness…” I wish I had thought to save a copy of it to post here later, cause it was brilliant. Oh well. Maybe I’ll remember when (and IF) I break the 100,000 barrier.

Seriously though, I think Microsoft should mail out shirts or something to people who break huge milestones like this. Cause we obviously paid for and played a shit ton of their games to get where we are. And what’s a couple hundred cheap and cheesy t-shirts to a company that has as much money as “The Big M”? Just a thought… do with it what you will.

~Uber Penguin out!

Have you heard of Sony’s upcoming device, the “Torne”? It’s a peripheral attachment device that allows you to record and store tv shows directly to the console. It’s set to launch in Japan in March for $110. They say you will be able to record shows even while watching DVD’s or playing PS3 games… but my guess is it’ll cause massive lag if you were to try and use it while playing online. And while I DO think it’s cool that you can then transfer your recorded shows to your PSP to watch on the go, I still think the device would be a waste of my money.

Here’s a link to the Gamespot article: http://www.gamespot.com/news/6246396.html

~Penguin out